{"id":27432,"date":"2024-09-20T07:58:55","date_gmt":"2024-09-20T07:58:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/be-accepted.com\/kurban-rolue-ve-neden-onu-birakmak-istiyoruz\/"},"modified":"2025-01-08T09:18:17","modified_gmt":"2025-01-08T09:18:17","slug":"kurban-rolue-ve-neden-onu-birakmak-istiyoruz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/be-accepted.com\/tr\/kurban-rolue-ve-neden-onu-birakmak-istiyoruz\/","title":{"rendered":"Kurban rol\u00fc ve bu rolden \u00e7ikmak istememizin nedeni!"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\u201cHepimiz ac\u0131larla kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131yay\u0131z:
Keder, kay\u0131p, korku, ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k, yaln\u0131zl\u0131k. Ancak travma ve sorunlar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda cesaretimizi kaybetmek de her an\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131n bir armagan\u0131 olarak g\u00f6rmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak da bizim elimizdedir.\u201d Edith Eiger, \u201cDas Geschenk\u201d
(Arma\u011fan)<\/p>

Edith Eiger tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir psikolog, du\u0308nyaca u\u0308nlu\u0308 bir konu\u015fmac\u0131 ve yazard\u0131r. Ancak her \u015feyden \u00f6nce, en korkun\u00e7 travmatik deneyimlere ra\u011fmen hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 nas\u0131l kendi kararlar\u0131n\u0131z do\u011frultusunda olumlu bir \u015fekilde \u015fekillendirebilece\u011finize dair bu\u0308yu\u0308leyici bir \u00f6rnektir. Onun hikayesinde; Auschwitz’de en ac\u0131mas\u0131z Nazilerden biri i\u00e7in dans etmek zorunda b\u0131rak\u0131lan, annesinin gaz odas\u0131na girdi\u011fini g\u00f6ren ve sava\u015f\u0131n sonunda mu\u0308ttefikler taraf\u0131ndan bir ceset y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131ndan yar\u0131 \u00f6lu\u0308 h\u00e2lde kurtar\u0131lan 16 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki bir k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu vard\u0131r. Gu\u0308nu\u0308mu\u0308zde du\u0308nyan\u0131n d\u00f6rt bir yan\u0131ndaki insanlara travmalar\u0131n\u0131 atlatmalar\u0131 i\u00e7in yard\u0131m ediyor.<\/p>

\u201cAc\u0131 \u00e7ekmek evrenseldir. Ma\u011fdur rolu\u0308 ise tercihe ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>

Eger’in yakla\u015f\u0131m\u0131, herkesin ma\u011fdur olabilece\u011fi varsay\u0131m\u0131na dayan\u0131r. Size ne olaca\u011f\u0131 u\u0308zerinde herhangi bir etkiniz yoktur, onun durumunda Auschwitz’e su\u0308rgu\u0308n edilmek, hastalar\u0131n\u0131n durumunda ise e\u015flerin kayb\u0131, \u015fiddet i\u00e7eren su\u00e7lar, ihmaller, hastal\u0131k, sava\u015flar veya di\u011fer bireysel travmatik deneyimler s\u00f6z konusudur. Bununla birlikte, herkesin kendi deneyimleriyle ne yapaca\u011f\u0131na kendisinin karar verebilece\u011fine inan\u0131yor.<\/p>

En bu\u0308yu\u0308k iste\u011fi ma\u011fdur rolu\u0308nden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p hayat\u0131n geri kalan\u0131na kat\u0131labilmek. \u00c7u\u0308nku\u0308 ma\u011fdur rolu\u0308nde kalmay\u0131, \u201cruhun \u00f6lu\u0308m kat\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131\u201d olarak adland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 duruma benzetiyor. Kastedilen, ma\u011fdur rolu\u0308ndeyken hep ge\u00e7mi\u015fe \u201csaplan\u0131p kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u201d, yolunuza devam edemedi\u011finiz ve ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan herhangi bir sonu\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131karamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z ger\u00e7e\u011fidir. Ma\u011fdurlar \u201cNeden ben?\u201d diye sorarlar. Edith Eger ise zihnen \u201cNeden olmas\u0131n?\u201ddiye kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verir. Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z deneyimleri neden ya\u015famak zorunda oldu\u011fumuzu du\u0308\u015fu\u0308nmenin hi\u00e7bir anlam\u0131 yoktur. Travmatik deneyimlerin temeline inersek kendimizi daha iyi hissedece\u011fimize dair yanl\u0131\u015f bir kan\u0131 vard\u0131r. Ayr\u0131ca, bir su\u00e7lu belirleyebildi\u011fimizde herhangi bir \u00e7\u00f6zu\u0308mden de s\u00f6z edilemez. \u0130yile\u015fme, tatmin ve \u00f6zgu\u0308rlu\u0308k deneyimini ancak \u00e7ekti\u011fimiz ac\u0131lar\u0131 anlamland\u0131rma ve bunlardan bir ama\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131karma becerisini \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimizde ya\u015fayabiliriz.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla soru \u201cNeden ben? \u201d de\u011fil, \u201c\u015eimdi ne yapmal\u0131? \u201d olmal\u0131d\u0131r. \u00c7u\u0308nku\u0308 \u201c\u015eimdi ne yapmal\u0131?\u201d sorusuyla birlikte kendimizle ve deneyimlerimizle neler yapabilece\u011fimizle ilgilenmeye ba\u015flar\u0131z.<\/p>

Bu, kaderinizi kabul etmek ve onunla ya\u015faman\u0131n en iyi yolunu bulmakla ilgilidir. Her kriz, kendimizi yeniden toparlay\u0131p hayat\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in ne istedi\u011fimize karar vermemizde bir f\u0131rsat sunar. \u201cDas Geschenk \u2013 12 Lektionen fu\u0308r ein besseres Leben\u201d (Arma\u011fan – Daha iyi bir ya\u015fam i\u00e7in 12 ders) adl\u0131 kitab\u0131nda bunun nas\u0131l yap\u0131labilece\u011fi etkileyici bir \u015fekilde anlat\u0131l\u0131yor. Ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 bir ya\u015fam i\u00e7in \u00f6nemli konular\u0131 basit \u00f6rneklerle ele al\u0131yor. Size 12 anahtardan baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 burada sunuyoruz, ancak kitapta \u00e7ok daha fazlas\u0131 var, size sadece okuman\u0131z\u0131 tavsiye edebiliriz!<\/p>

MA\u011eDUR ROL\u00dcN\u00dc GER\u0130DE BIRAKMAK, <\/strong><\/p>

Sizi k\u0131rm\u0131\u015f olan bir ki\u015fiye te\u015fekku\u0308r mektubu yazarak bunu destekleyebilirsiniz. Mektupta ayr\u0131ca k\u0131r\u0131lman\u0131z\u0131 tetikleyen duygulara da yer vermelisiniz. Ard\u0131ndan ayn\u0131 ki\u015fiye bir \u015fu\u0308kran mektubu yaz\u0131n ve bu mektubunuzda bu ki\u015finin size kendiniz hakk\u0131nda neler \u00f6\u011fretti\u011fini ve bunun sonucunda nas\u0131l geli\u015fti\u011finizi yaz\u0131n. Bu, oda\u011f\u0131, kurbandan gu\u0308\u00e7lu\u0308 sava\u015f\u00e7\u0131ya kayd\u0131rmakla ilgilidir.<\/p>

SIRLARDAN KURTULUN, <\/strong><\/p>

\u00c7u\u0308nku\u0308 iyile\u015fme ancak baz\u0131 y\u00f6nlerimizi saklamaktan veya ink\u00e2r etmekten vazge\u00e7ti\u011fimizde ger\u00e7ekle\u015febilir. Ger\u00e7ek \u00f6zgu\u0308rlu\u0308k, ger\u00e7eklerle yu\u0308zle\u015fti\u011fimizde ve onu gu\u0308venli bir ortamda dile getirdi\u011fimizde ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar.<\/p>

\u00d6rne\u011fin, bir destek grubu veya deneyimlerinize empatiyle yakla\u015fabilecek insanlar bulun. Kendinizi rahat hissetti\u011finiz yerin oras\u0131 olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na karar vermeden \u00f6nce en az u\u0308\u00e7 kez oraya gidin.<\/p>

KEDER\u0130N\u0130Z\u0130N \u00dcSTES\u0130NDEN GEL\u0130N <\/strong><\/p>

\u201cKederin u\u0308stesinden gelmek, kontrolu\u0308mu\u0308z d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda olan her \u015feyin sorumlulu\u011fundan kurtulmak ve geri alamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kararlar verdi\u011fimizi kabullenmek anlam\u0131na gelir.\u201d (Edith Eger, Das Geschenk)<\/p>

FEL\u00c7 EDEN KORKU \u2013 KARAR VERME \u00d6ZG\u00dcRL\u00dc\u011e\u00dc<\/strong><\/p>

Korku do\u011fu\u015ftan sahip oldu\u011fumuz bir \u015fey de\u011fildir, daha ziyade onu hayat\u0131m\u0131z boyunca \u00f6\u011freniriz. Bizi risk almaktan al\u0131koyan \u015fey, bildi\u011fimiz bir \u015feyi bilinmeyenle de\u011fi\u015ftirme durumudur.<\/p>

Bir gu\u0308n boyunca kendi kendinize ne s\u0131kl\u0131kta<\/p>

\u201cYapamam\u201d, \u201cYapmak zorunday\u0131m\u201d ya da
\u201cYapmal\u0131y\u0131m\u201d diye du\u0308\u015fu\u0308ndu\u0308\u011fu\u0308nu\u0308zu\u0308 g\u00f6zlemleyin.<\/p>

\u201cYapamam\u201d, \u201cYapmayaca\u011f\u0131m\u201d ile e\u015f anlaml\u0131yken,
\u201cYapmal\u0131y\u0131m\u201d ve \u201cYapmak zorunday\u0131m\u201d karar verme
\u00f6zgu\u0308rlu\u0308\u011fu\u0308nu\u0308zden vazge\u00e7menizi temsil eder.
Bu formu\u0308lleri silin ve yerine \u201cYapabilirim\u201d, \u201cYapaca\u011f\u0131m\u201d,
\u201cYap\u0131yorum\u201d ifadelerini kullan\u0131n.<\/p>

\u00dcM\u0130TS\u0130ZL\u0130\u011e\u0130N YER\u0130NE \u00d6ZG\u00dcRL\u00dc\u011e\u00dc VE DAYANIKLILI\u011eI KOYUN DAYANIKLILIK<\/strong><\/p>

Umut, ne kadar korkutucu oldu\u011fundan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z olarak ac\u0131n\u0131n, ge\u00e7ici oldu\u011funun fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve bundan sonra ne olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenme merak\u0131d\u0131r. Bize ge\u00e7mi\u015f yerine bugu\u0308nde ya\u015fama ve zihinsel hapishanelerimizin kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7ma f\u0131rsat\u0131 verir.<\/p>

Zor veya ac\u0131 verici durumlardan bahsederken genellikle durumu \u00f6nemsizle\u015ftiren bir dil kullanma e\u011filiminde oluruz. \u00c7o\u011fu zaman \u201cO kadar da k\u00f6tu\u0308 de\u011fil.\u201d deriz. Hatta \u201cNe hakk\u0131nda \u015fikayet etmem gerekti\u011fini bilmiyorum.\u201d veya \u201cBa\u015fkalar\u0131 \u00e7ok daha k\u00f6tu\u0308 durumda.\u201d gibi ifadeler kullan\u0131r\u0131z. Ancak ac\u0131y\u0131 en aza indirgerseniz \u00f6zgu\u0308rlu\u0308k ve dayan\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131k geli\u015fmez. Bu nedenle \u201cCan\u0131m yan\u0131yor. Ama bu da ge\u00e7ecek.\u201d diyebilirsiniz.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Bu yaz\u0131y\u0131 payla\u015f\u0131n:<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Di\u011fer katk\u0131lar:<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tAkupunktur\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tHer \u015fey Qi’dir (enerji)\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t
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\"\"<\/div>\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tMeme Sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 Merkezi\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Edith Eiger \u00fcnl\u00fc bir psikolog, d\u00fcnyaca tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir konu\u015fmac\u0131 ve yazard\u0131r.
\nAncak her \u015feyden \u00f6nce, en korkun\u00e7 travmatik deneyimlere ra\u011fmen hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 nas\u0131l kendi kararlar\u0131n\u0131zla ve olumlu bir \u015fekilde \u015fekillendirebilece\u011finize dair b\u00fcy\u00fcleyici bir \u00f6rnektir. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":27434,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[337],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-be-psikolojik-acidan-gueclue"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKurban rol\u00fc ve bu rolden \u00e7ikmak istememizin nedeni! - Be accepted<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/be-accepted.com\/tr\/kurban-rolue-ve-neden-onu-birakmak-istiyoruz\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kurban rol\u00fc ve bu rolden \u00e7ikmak istememizin nedeni! - Be accepted\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Edith Eiger \u00fcnl\u00fc bir psikolog, d\u00fcnyaca tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir konu\u015fmac\u0131 ve yazard\u0131r. 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